Black Friday finished yesterday... but in many shops it continues today... somehow...
Anyway, in light of this I wanted to put together my 'Never-fail 4 step prep' for anyone venturing into town to pick up a bargain.
1 Work out the hourly rate you'd need to be paid if your job was to constantly and repeatedly punch men, women, the elderly and toddlers in the face.
2 Multiply this figure by the number of hours you think it will take to fight your way through a riot of psychopaths in a shopping centre that is nightmarish at the best of times, but has now degenerated into a hellscape worthy of a post apocalyptic movie.
Remember to figure in extra time for clambering over piles of the shattered bones and teeth of those 'less dedicated' shoppers than yourself.
3 Compare this figure to the discount you hope to receive on the product you have statistically negligible chance of finding Intact, Usable and not currently being used by a hulking lunatic as a murder weapon to crush the skulls of the children in front of them at the 'must-have toy' counter.
4 Stay at home.
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