Sometimes you're day is going lousy... It happens to the best of us... Today it is happening to me
Now what do you need to cheer you up?
Well.. how about seeing an American Presidential hopeful having a much worse day than you, perhaps doing an overseas 'Goodwill' tour with all the success of the Griswald family's European vacation?
Ok... Balance time. I have very few opinions on Mitt... I think he has ludicrous religious beliefs... but that's fine... a U.S Presidential hopeful has to express belief in some nonsense witchery... yeah his particular brand of hocus-pocus is a bit more 'modern' and seems to believe the post-mortem conversion of holocaust victims to their religion is just 'Okey-Dokey-Fine'... but hell... all religions kinda believe that a magic man in the sky made everything, so I can let him off on that...
(*By 'Evil Looking' I mean terrifyingly rich, a state that is roughly akin to Evil for your average UK-er... oh and if you see these jokes elsewhere.. they are mine, but they are a gift to the world...)
As for his politics, well, let's just say: 'they are not designed for me'. If I were eligible to vote for him, I wouldn't... and he wouldn't want me to... we're very different politically. He's very rich and acts accordingly. I'm shockingly poor and act rarely....
So I can and will not comment on them...
Ahhh.. but catastrophic media strategy fuck-ups... that is something I can talk about... and rarely have I seen such Gold in such a short space of time.
Quick Recap.
1) The 'Anglo-Saxon' thing... He 'understands' us because of Anglo Saxon Heritage... Up to the minute their Mr Rommers.. Anglo-Saxon eh? That was a long time ago... but ok, aside from the eenie bit dodgy undertone of this comment... I'm sure you'll soon demonstrate that understanding. The Floor is yours Mittens.
2) The Ed Miliband 'Mr Leader' Thing... Now that may be a cultural thing, calling the opposition leader by his title and not his name, maybe, or it maybe a lack of home work... some have of course suggested that it means Miliband isn't a big player on the world stage... Probably true... but still... if you're meeting someone on a goodwill tour, maybe remembering the name of the guy you're shaking hands with isn't the biggest chore in the world...
Still.. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and imagine that he really does call people by a variation of their job title... 'Mr Driver', 'Mr Pizza-Man' or perhaps 'Mr Media Strategy Advisor who really should know Better'
3) The Olympic 'Thing'. Wow... just Wow... It has taken a wealthy American Presidential hopeful to finally do what the combined might of Sebastian Coe and LOCOG have failed to achieve. The UK have been entirely united behind the Olympic games by a few mild, but bafflingly ill advised comments about our ability to host this event... and jings, is he suffering for it now.
The comments are fairly mild really... nothing compared to what our own media have been saying all along. It's the rookie nature of the timing that is causing the derision. Insulting the host nation of the Olympics on your 'Goodwill' tour is pretty good. Doing it on the day before the opening ceremony, when the torch arrives in London and public support explodes is a master-stroke of shambolism... in fact I'd check your media team Romneo... anyone in there with the surname Obama?
Having done that he attempted to backtrack, using bemusing lines about looking out 'The Backside' of 10 Downing street, and saying that 'mistakes would be made' anyway... But the damage was done... Then someone coined the term '#Romneyshambles' (Most likely @ldncalling, so credit there)
Romneyshambles is beautiful, because it conveys so much in such a concise way. If it doesn't make sense to you, Google 'Omnishambles' and then come back... I'll wait...
#Romneyshambles is now trending hard on Twitter. It is a license for people like me, who really have had little interest in Romney to make jokes, mainly for the sake of joking... But it isn't just zeroes like me who have been firing comedic pea-shooters at this particular elephant... some 'real people' have got in on the act:
He has just been 'called out' in Hyde Park, in front of 60,000 people by Boris Johnson. Boris-Fucking-Johnson... Let's just take a moment to reflect on that... A potential future President of the U.S got served by our very own Bullingdon Buffoon, now, that's gotta sting... (Who, rather hilariously, is now being accused of being a 'Communist' by some rabid Romney Supporters on the #Romneyshambles hashtag).
Cameron too got in a zinger about how it's much harder to organise this in a capital city, rather than 'The Middle of Nowhere'... perhaps a veiled dig at the whole 'Salt Lake City' thing... (Just so you know, a representative of the Mayor of Salt Lake City kinda Zinged Cameron back, by offering him a map to find it...)
Oh and even our Louise Mensch, the benchmark for bandwagon-leaping-zeitgeist-chasery called him an 'embarrassment'.... Others have said 'Apparently devoid of charm, warmth, humour or sincerity', 'What a total shocker', 'We are speechless', 'Total car crash' and 'Worse than Palin'.. Ouch, Ouch OUCH... that's gotta sting... and lest we forget, these are people sympathetic to his politics... I'm not even going to go into what the Left have been saying...
4) The 'Fund Raising Evening' Thing. What is worse than your Fund raising dinner having a low uptake, so much so that you are reducing the admission from $75,000 to.. erm... 'free'... Well, here's something.. sending those free invites to the press pack and bloggers who immediately display the amended invitations on the internet. Big Ooops there. Quick lesson. Snarky UK Political Bloggers (Even those firmly 'on the right') will not let allegiance get in the way of breaking a cracking story.
So... Poor old Romney... I actually feel sorry for the guy...
I'm sure it's just a blip, and it probably won't effect his standing at home.. those that Love him obviously still do, and are blinded to anything negative about him... those that don't... well they don't.. and the exact same goes, they will see no positives...
But for me (who is having a pure rotten day all round), the site of a fabulously wealthy man, performing the political equivalent of the 'Sideshow Bob rake' is at least bringing a smile to my face...
Now what do you need to cheer you up?
Well.. how about seeing an American Presidential hopeful having a much worse day than you, perhaps doing an overseas 'Goodwill' tour with all the success of the Griswald family's European vacation?
Ok... Balance time. I have very few opinions on Mitt... I think he has ludicrous religious beliefs... but that's fine... a U.S Presidential hopeful has to express belief in some nonsense witchery... yeah his particular brand of hocus-pocus is a bit more 'modern' and seems to believe the post-mortem conversion of holocaust victims to their religion is just 'Okey-Dokey-Fine'... but hell... all religions kinda believe that a magic man in the sky made everything, so I can let him off on that...
I mainly know him through seeing pictures on the internet and thinking... 'Oh, Morrisey has gone all American... and Evil-Looking*'
or,
'Ash from the Evil Dead looks quite old now... and Evil-Looking*'
or,
'Oh... Evil Corporate Elvis has lost a lot of weight.. but got quite Evil-looking*'
(*By 'Evil Looking' I mean terrifyingly rich, a state that is roughly akin to Evil for your average UK-er... oh and if you see these jokes elsewhere.. they are mine, but they are a gift to the world...)
As for his politics, well, let's just say: 'they are not designed for me'. If I were eligible to vote for him, I wouldn't... and he wouldn't want me to... we're very different politically. He's very rich and acts accordingly. I'm shockingly poor and act rarely....
So I can and will not comment on them...
Ahhh.. but catastrophic media strategy fuck-ups... that is something I can talk about... and rarely have I seen such Gold in such a short space of time.
Quick Recap.
1) The 'Anglo-Saxon' thing... He 'understands' us because of Anglo Saxon Heritage... Up to the minute their Mr Rommers.. Anglo-Saxon eh? That was a long time ago... but ok, aside from the eenie bit dodgy undertone of this comment... I'm sure you'll soon demonstrate that understanding. The Floor is yours Mittens.
2) The Ed Miliband 'Mr Leader' Thing... Now that may be a cultural thing, calling the opposition leader by his title and not his name, maybe, or it maybe a lack of home work... some have of course suggested that it means Miliband isn't a big player on the world stage... Probably true... but still... if you're meeting someone on a goodwill tour, maybe remembering the name of the guy you're shaking hands with isn't the biggest chore in the world...
Still.. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and imagine that he really does call people by a variation of their job title... 'Mr Driver', 'Mr Pizza-Man' or perhaps 'Mr Media Strategy Advisor who really should know Better'
3) The Olympic 'Thing'. Wow... just Wow... It has taken a wealthy American Presidential hopeful to finally do what the combined might of Sebastian Coe and LOCOG have failed to achieve. The UK have been entirely united behind the Olympic games by a few mild, but bafflingly ill advised comments about our ability to host this event... and jings, is he suffering for it now.
The comments are fairly mild really... nothing compared to what our own media have been saying all along. It's the rookie nature of the timing that is causing the derision. Insulting the host nation of the Olympics on your 'Goodwill' tour is pretty good. Doing it on the day before the opening ceremony, when the torch arrives in London and public support explodes is a master-stroke of shambolism... in fact I'd check your media team Romneo... anyone in there with the surname Obama?
Having done that he attempted to backtrack, using bemusing lines about looking out 'The Backside' of 10 Downing street, and saying that 'mistakes would be made' anyway... But the damage was done... Then someone coined the term '#Romneyshambles' (Most likely @ldncalling, so credit there)
Romneyshambles is beautiful, because it conveys so much in such a concise way. If it doesn't make sense to you, Google 'Omnishambles' and then come back... I'll wait...
#Romneyshambles is now trending hard on Twitter. It is a license for people like me, who really have had little interest in Romney to make jokes, mainly for the sake of joking... But it isn't just zeroes like me who have been firing comedic pea-shooters at this particular elephant... some 'real people' have got in on the act:
He has just been 'called out' in Hyde Park, in front of 60,000 people by Boris Johnson. Boris-Fucking-Johnson... Let's just take a moment to reflect on that... A potential future President of the U.S got served by our very own Bullingdon Buffoon, now, that's gotta sting... (Who, rather hilariously, is now being accused of being a 'Communist' by some rabid Romney Supporters on the #Romneyshambles hashtag).
Cameron too got in a zinger about how it's much harder to organise this in a capital city, rather than 'The Middle of Nowhere'... perhaps a veiled dig at the whole 'Salt Lake City' thing... (Just so you know, a representative of the Mayor of Salt Lake City kinda Zinged Cameron back, by offering him a map to find it...)
Oh and even our Louise Mensch, the benchmark for bandwagon-leaping-zeitgeist-chasery called him an 'embarrassment'.... Others have said 'Apparently devoid of charm, warmth, humour or sincerity', 'What a total shocker', 'We are speechless', 'Total car crash' and 'Worse than Palin'.. Ouch, Ouch OUCH... that's gotta sting... and lest we forget, these are people sympathetic to his politics... I'm not even going to go into what the Left have been saying...
4) The 'Fund Raising Evening' Thing. What is worse than your Fund raising dinner having a low uptake, so much so that you are reducing the admission from $75,000 to.. erm... 'free'... Well, here's something.. sending those free invites to the press pack and bloggers who immediately display the amended invitations on the internet. Big Ooops there. Quick lesson. Snarky UK Political Bloggers (Even those firmly 'on the right') will not let allegiance get in the way of breaking a cracking story.
So... Poor old Romney... I actually feel sorry for the guy...
I'm sure it's just a blip, and it probably won't effect his standing at home.. those that Love him obviously still do, and are blinded to anything negative about him... those that don't... well they don't.. and the exact same goes, they will see no positives...
But for me (who is having a pure rotten day all round), the site of a fabulously wealthy man, performing the political equivalent of the 'Sideshow Bob rake' is at least bringing a smile to my face...
... and I'm sure he'd prefer that to 'pity'.. especially from the likes of me..
Of course... There is always the possibility that The UK have maybe... just maybe, royally pissed off a man who could one day be in charge of the largest Nuclear stockpile in the world... but even if that's the case, it will still put my, trifling, 'Rotten day' into perspective...
Thus I win...
