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Monday 9 April 2012

A Fiends Errand: Operation Instagram (Part 2)

Ok everyone, I'm sure you all remember when we instigated part one of this (my) fiendish scheme. We were all sat, much as we are today... I had just finished my 'day job' as a superhero/astronaut (Who lives on the moon and is 'anything proof')

I remember saying. "Ok everyone. Let's make Instagram really really popular". You must remember, it was in October 2010. I recall distinctly saying, "you should all use this app... now"... I said it on Twitter.... I think. It was late at night... Probably.

Anyway, a lot of people did decide to use it.. It's something to do with drastically reducing the quality of the pictures taken on your very expensive smartphone... or something... I've never used it myself and know nothing of what it actually does...

Anyway, we got it really really popular. And of course by 'We' I mean 'I' because I said that you should all use it... So it was my idea... Got that?

So... Enter the chaps behind Facebook. They want this 'Whatever it is' and have offered a cool Billion for it... That's Dollars by the way. U.S at a guess. They must really like filtered images.

So now it's time to reveal and enact part 2 of this fiends errand.

Hear this: "Everyone can now cease using this App. Instead use any of the myriad other ways that you can convey your own personal Gawp onto the net, albeit without a slight tint that makes it look 'all older and stuff', Then we can all sit around and watch that valuation crash through the Earth's Crust, creating a tunnel that we can then use for trade and tourism"

(In Internet Business Ju Jitsu this move is known as the 'Myspace Jettison')

Oh... and incidentally, I know some 'cynics' are suggesting that Facebook don't really love 'Images that look a bit like they were taken on a real camera, only not really if you look for anything longer than a second' so much they're willing to spend a fortune and are, in fact, just buying out a competitor before it becomes too threatening. If anyone does believe this to be the case I would suggest everyone stop using Facebook as well... just in case.

Now, having said 'a Thing' I can now claim 'Bloggers Prerogative' and if anything even approaching any of this comes to pass I will claim I predicted/originated it. In fact, If even one person stops using either site... ever... for any reason at all, I will now claim to be right on all things...

I am a Blogger, and we do that.